


For Once

by orphan_account



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-20
Updated: 2013-06-20
Packaged: 2017-12-15 14:14:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/850491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Gavin’s eyes showed nothing but honesty, his voice as sincere as Ray had ever heard. His body stood rigid and sober, eyes bright and words clear. All that remained was that hopeful glint in Gavin’s eyes, the same one Ray remembered just hours ago."</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Once

Ray couldn’t believe those words. No matter how many times Gavin said them, over and over again, that night. So clear for drunken syllables and stuttering words, forming sweetly on those lips Ray wished he could kiss. And yet he refused to believe them. Not just yet.

   “Ray? Ray…are you listenin’?” Gavin mumbled quietly, eyes glazed and distant with more than enough alcohol in his system, burning into the other’s back intently. Ray tried not to listen, tried not to let his heart swell with hope. The internal mantra of _“…he’s drunk…he’s lying…”_ cut sharper than anything could have managed. With every word Gavin formed, so inebriated but sounding so sincere, Ray could feel his façade cracking and breaking.

   “Gavin, go to sleep.” Ray was surprised how loud his voice seemed within those four walls. Shutting the blinds to his bedroom and drowning out the glow of street lights  he felt almost comforted by the darkness. Only a slither of light managed to break its way through, letting Ray at least see where he was going. For once, he didn’t want to see those bright green eyes looking right into him, inquisitive and adamant. Before he could leave the room, he heard Gavin’s voice, unusually meek in the silence of his bedroom.

   “Ray, ‘m sorry.”

Ray could feel himself physically ache. Everything that came out of the Brit’s mouth seemed so real. Every word, every look that Gavin threw at him seemed to bring back a sense of de-ja-vu, whether from fantasy or dream, it was just how he wanted Gavin to be. Everything on impulse and instinct but still ever careful to think that Ray might not feel the same way. It was like his thoughts were being projected out…if it wasn’t for the drunken sway to Gavin’s posture and the distant look in his eyes. Even if it was everything Ray wanted, he couldn’t believe it for his own good.

   “It’s not that, Gavin.”

He wished the other words would come as easily as Gavin had let them, but he knew that if those syllables fell from his mouth there was no going back. He wouldn’t risk it. He _couldn’t_ risk it. Even if it left him hollow and hurting the day after, it was more than enough if Gavin awoke with no recollection at all, or even just managed to shrug off what he’d told Ray. That was all he asked, just no change to how they were now. Even if Ray was stuck in this cycle from then on it wouldn’t matter, just as long as the Brit was still there with him in some way.

   “I love you, Ray. “

Ray stopped mid-thought. Of all the times this had happened, those specific words had never left Gavin’s lips. Losing his will, Ray let himself turn to face the Brit, just for a moment. Gavin’s features showed nothing but honesty and a glint of something Ray knew all too well. Gavin sat on the edge of Ray’s bed like he was waiting for him to reply. _“…it’s a lie…"_  Ray couldn't bring himself to tell the truth.

   “You’re drunk, Gavin. Just- I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

As quiet as it was, Gavin still heard. Nodding slowly and letting his gaze fall in one slow movement. As Gavin started to shuffle back on the bed, looking utterly misplaced and lost, Ray turned his back on the Brit once again. Opening the door to his room and stepping out, Ray could just make out Gavin’s hushed voice behind him.

“I love you.”

The next morning, Ray couldn’t move that weight from across his chest no matter what he told himself. He knew that until he saw Gavin and heard the usual _“…was a bit drunk last night, wasn’t I?”_ in that amused tone, the anxiety wouldn’t leave. Unfortunately, the Brit hadn’t even stirred yet, leaving Ray to sit in his kitchen nearly falling asleep across his folded arms. As the minutes ticked by, the room was bathed in a bright orange glow. There was no way he was going to sleep, not until Gavin left. Spending the afternoon as he had done so many times before, simply wrapped up where Gavin had spent the night. It was nothing close to comfort, but it was something and all Ray could have.

When he heard the latch from his bedroom door unlock, he raised his head and watched as a sleep-ridden Gavin padded into the kitchen, hair askew and clothes creased. Ray offered a smile even as his insides churned, waiting for the inevitable. Gavin stopped, almost confused, and just looked at Ray. Again, those eyes burned into him, like he was trying to figure him out somehow. When the Brit smiled meekly Ray tried to prepare himself and waited for that English accent to ring in his ears, just to pull him down into a painful sense of normality.

Ray couldn’t have prepared himself for what came, even if he did try.

   “I wasn’t lying last night.”

Gavin’s eyes showed nothing but honesty, his voice as sincere as Ray had ever heard. His body stood rigid and sober, eyes bright and words clear. All that remained was that hopeful glint in Gavin’s eyes, the same one Ray remembered just hours ago. He could feel himself smiling as he shuffled out of his seat and watched as Gavin’s expression began to mimic his own.

   “So, you’re not still drunk?”

   “No, not this time.”

After what seemed like a lifetime of waiting, Gavin’s lips finally met Ray’s own for the first time. Ray didn’t let his mind worry and he definitely didn’t let that voice tell him this was a joke, or another dream, because with each move of Gavin’s lips he felt that weight lifted – permanently. Ray’s hands found Gavin’s hair, loosely clutching the brunette strands and pulling the Brit in. Gavin parted soon after with a few, barely-there kisses before leaning his forehead against the others.

When Gavin whispered a soft _“I love you.”_ against his lips, for once, Ray could believe him.

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like to reblog or like this fic on tumblr:
> 
> http://teaandotherstuff.tumblr.com/post/41475706869/for-once


End file.
